I’ve always grown up in church my whole life. I was called the “perfect church girl” with the “perfect family” many times. I’m a rule follower by nature and absolutely hate letting people down, so you can imagine the weight I’ve always put on myself. And there came a time in my life when I had not only missed the mark of what I desired in purity for my life, but what the Christian world expects. My imperfection was thrown on a silver platter for the whole world to see. I let people down. I let my myself down. My life was forever changed and I couldn’t go back for a do-over. In that season of my life, I thought that I had ruined God’s plan for my life. It was in that moment that I believed the lie that “I’m not good enough.” No matter how hard I tried to be the perfect example, mentor, worship leader, etc… I just couldn’t measure up. Mainly to my own expectations, but also to others’. After being stuck in the mess of my own mind, shame, and failings, I discovered the heart of God.
It took some counseling, and the unconditional love poured out from family and friends, to realize that God’s love for me did not change amidst my failings. I had not ruined God’s plan for me, but actually gained deeper understanding of God’s love for me. What was once just head knowledge of God’s unconditional love, was now heart knowledge! I didn’t ruin God’s plan for my life as a worship leader, and mentor to others. God used my shortcomings to make me an even better worship leader and mentor! So many of those who God used in might ways had shortcomings: Paul was a pharisee who persecuted and arrested, and authorized the killing of Christians. Yet, an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus led to Paul writing half of the new testament and spreading the gospel to the Gentile world. This is WHY WE KNOW about it all today! God uses IT ALL for His glory and for the good of those who love Him!
So, here I am. Investing in others and sharing my story to help others walk towards Christ. It’s the greatest journey you’ll ever walk!